A telegram with news for Private Jones arrives at Battalion headquarters and the Lieutenant gives it to the Sergeant to relay the news.
The Sergent assembles the company and then says "Jones, step forward."
"Jones, your father died. Fall in." "Company dismissed."
The Lieutenant's jaw drops and he immediately calls the Sargent into his office, saying "Sergent, I can't believe how you handled that! Think what terrible and shocking news that was for Jones - you just blasted him like that with no warning - that was crushing. Great Scott, man - you need to show some compassion!"
"Sargent says "Wow, you're right Lieutenant - I'm sorry. I just didn't think of it that way at all."
Tragically, two months later, a telegram arrives saying that Jones' mother has died.
The Lieutenant says, "Sarge, this is a terrible, terrible thing - but at least it gives you a chance to break it to Jones in a slower and gentler way."
The Sergent says, "Yeah, you're right, Lieutenant - thanks."
So Sergent assembles the company, and then says "All those men with one living parent, step forward....NOT SO FAST, Jones!"
Just found this somewhat similar joke online (pretty funny too, I think):
ReplyDeleteThree rednecks, Cooter, Ronnie and Donnie, were working up on a cellphone tower. As they started their descent, Cooter slipped, fell off the tower, and was killed instantly. As the ambulance was taking the body away, Ronnie said, "Well, shucks, someone should go and tell his wife."
Donnie says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser.
Ronnie says, "Where did you get that beer, Donnie?"
"Cooter's wife gave it to me," Donnie replies.
"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?"
"Well, not exactly," Donnie says. "When she answered the door, I said to her, "You must be Cooter's widow."
She said, "You must be mistaken. I'm not a widow." Then I said, "I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are."