A man is going out of town and is really worried that his wife will be unfaithful while he's gone. He finally decides that the best way to prevent her from straying is to buy her a s*x toy. He goes to the nearest adult store and checks out every possible product, but can't find anything that he thinks will satisfy her. Finally in desperation he explains his situation to the old woman who owns the shop and pleads with her to help him. "Don't worry," the old woman replies, "I have just the thing. Follow me." The old woman takes the man into the back room of the shop and pulls a dusty wooden box off the shelf. "This is the voodoo pen*s," she says. "It's exactly what you need. Watch. Voodoo pen*s: wall!" And the voodoo pen*s jumps out of the box and starts hammering away at the wall. "Oh man, that's awesome!" the man exclaims. Then the old woman commands, "Voodoo pen*s: stop," and the voodoo pen*s jumps back into the box. "That is terrific!" the man shouts. "I'll take it!" When the man gets home he explains to his wife, "Wife, look what I've bought for you! If you you become aroused while I'm away, just say, 'voodoo pen*s' and wherever you want it to go. When you're finished, say--" and the man's cab pulls up and he drives away.
Well, a couple days after the man leaves, his wife becomes aroused and so she gets out the voodoo pen*s and says, "Voodoo pen*s: vag*na." After she finishes she says, "Okay, I'm done now," but the voodoo pen*s keeps hammering away. "Uh, please stop!" she says, but to no avail. She starts to become frantic and since she can't get the voodoo pen*s to cease for anything she finally decides she needs to get to a hospital. So, the woman jumps in her car but she's swerving all over the road and it's not long before a cop pulls her over. When he comes to the window she says, "OFFICER! I'm sorry! It's the voodoo pen*s!" and the cop snorts, "Voodoo pen*s MY ASS!"
- Thanks Jake!
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